Saturday, February 28, 2015

PSA

I'm sitting here early on a Saturday morning poking through my social media and contemplating the future. It is Saturday, February 28th. Since all the various groundhogs are such notorious liars and wastrels, and some downright dangerous, I think it is time to step up. So here goes.

Ahem. . .

I, Jason Tucker, being of sound mind and pasty complexion do hereby Declare, that as of Midnight Next, on the very Eve of March, that Winter is thusly and hereby over. You may commence making your fishing plans for the summer. Any fly tying and gear organizing must be accomplished no later than March 21, or you will be declared in Contempt of Spring.

It is also ordered that you make a List of any and all fishing Plans, Priorities and Trips of which You would like to partake in thereof. You will hint at these Plans to your spouse, significant other or employer as the need may arise. You are exempted from fully disclosing your Plans until you are sure They are set in Stone.

It is also Ordered that you make full use of any and all Warm, Sunny, Warmish, Spring-like, Fair, Favorable, Cook-out, Balmy, Hot, Scorching, T-shirt, Beach, or Summery weather in any way possible from this point forward, even if it means stopping on your commute home to stare at water for a minimum of five (5) minutes. 

This Order shall be in Effect beginning at Midnight March 1 2015. Any resemblance henceforward of the weather to Winter is purely coincidental and may be considered Slanderous. Any and all such weather must be used to Prepare for Fishing.

Note: this order pertains to any and all Activities related to the pursuit of Brown Trout, Brook Trout, Rainbow Trout, Steelhead, all Salmon and Chars not otherwise named, Northern Pike, Muskellunge, Largemouth and Smallmouth Bass as well as other Sunfishes, Carp, Drum and any other Freshwater Fishes of which you may wish to pursue. This Order applies equally to all Saltwater Species.

You're welcome.

4 comments:

  1. East and Mid East can declare this... But, the poor, wayfaring flyfishermen in the West, must hope that we have two more months of come kind of moisture! Otherwise... no bueno for reservoirs.

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  2. We'll wait awhile up north, too. It was 26 below here yesterday morn. Uh huh.

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    1. Looks like sugarin' weather next week. Open water won't be far behind.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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